Martha Freeman's childhood

Martha's childhood was boring and generally rather happy - no tragedy other than the occasional grandparent dying, which grandparents will do, you can hardly blame them. Here are a few of the highlights and low-lights.

Martha's parents made her travel around the world with them when she was 6. In Japan, they made her drink milk with sugar in it. Yucky. They also made her go to art museums, but she refused actually to look at paintings. She still thinks sweetened milk is yucky. But she does drag her own kids to art museums.

When Martha was 8, she was bitten by her poodle, George. If you meet Martha, ask to see the scar. Martha still mistrusts small poodles, particularly those with very foofy haircuts.

When she was in sixth grade, Martha developed a huge crush on the boy who sat one desk over. He had freckles and was good at arithmetic. On Fridays, her class had square-dancing for P.E. One week he asked her to be his partner, and she almost expired from happiness. But – oh, heartbreak – the next week he asked her best friend, Amy, instead. Later, the boy would become a lawyer who wears gold chains and Italian shoes, so, in fact, Martha lucked out. As for Amy – she didn't marry him either.

Getting ready for school one morning, Martha witnessed her dachshund, Max, being snatched by a coyote. Martha gave chase, but the coyote was faster. Martha left for school in tears, thinking she would never see Max again, but Max returned home at lunchtime, healthy other than a set of coyote tooth-marks in his neck. From then on, he was known as Max the Coyote Killer.

Martha believes it may be because her childhood was boring and generally happy that she does not write books about wizards, ghosts, witches, trolls, dragons, magic or the doings in other dimensions. She further believes that to do that well, you have to be a product - or at least a near associate -- of the English public school system. Martha prefers to write about the everyday lives of everyday kids because she believes, along with another writer, Nick Hornby, from whom she remorselessly pirates the following quotation, that "the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone."